Physical incarnation introduces the aspect of duality. I came across this quote at www.divinecosmos.com tonight, and what a sweet reminder it was, because it produced this post. There are two ways to address the question of Why We Are Here. As consciousness, or pure Spirit, there is no why. There only is. In my view, the concept of life can only be defined by juxtaposing it with its opposite. In this vein, life is and always was. And once you start trying to decipher whether life sprang from the void, or life always was, you leave the realm of spirit anyhow. To answer the question of what each of us is doing here "on Earth" is to fly far out oneness and analyse, through the ego, what you came here to do.
This week I visited a branding company with the hopes of learning how to attract more business, bought new furniture for my flat as well as a new pair of jeans. In the meanwhile, I've had lots of dreams about people close to me dying, and one dream where I was selfish. I wasn't able to appreciate the meanings of these dreams on a conscious level. But below the surface I was drawn to Wilcock's site where I instantly stumbled across an interpetation of an almost identical dream he'd had a few months back. The message was embarassingly clear: Death of the ego and transformation of negative aspects in preparation for spiritual transformation.
I originally wanted to post this week on Being Honest with Myself, but I wasn't sure what that meant exactly. It was just a working title. I decided, through reading this interpretation and a channeled reading that followed on Wilcock's site, to be honest with myself and not just passively accept, but really look at the messages my dreams were compassionately sending.
If I'm honest with myself on the subject of duality, I've struggled with the idea of wealth. Not with the idea of money, but of wealth. I never used to worry about money; I've always believed that I had the inner resources to be able to get what I needed at the right time. I heard Mick Jagger in my head a few times this week, "You can't always get what you want....but if you try sometime, you find you get what you need." This paradigm has worked for me until now. Mainly because, until now I'd never made any considerable income! Suddenly I am faced with a new paradigm. How do I reconcile having and spending money with being spiritual?
To a spiritualist, the ego is the enemy. It's the software that was installed on our hardware when we arrived. It's the software that we've needed to live in this illusory world, to act on this physical stage. But once you're aware that you are more than your personality, perhaps sitting in a car behind a string of others on the autobahn outside of a sprawling metropolis, you try to find a way to straddle both planes. And you find it's not that easy to be in two worlds at once.
If I focus on making more money, am I egocentric? If I focus on making money for the purpose of having financial security, does this make me fearful, a doubter, unspiritual? Does the fact that I find spending money entertaining reduce me to a 'consumer'? After all, we live in a material world, and these are my 'working years'. I'm not afraid of dying, but I do object to starving or being homeless. I am not amassing millions from my business, but there is a standard of living I find quite agreeable and would like to uphold. Just simply not in exchange for my spiritual values. Naturally, I ask myself whether the energy I expend on attracting new business should be funneled into charity work, and if the energy I lack as a result of working is a detriment to my spiritual practise. In the end, despite the fearful griping of my ego, deep in my heart I know that abundance is a new path for me and that I am simply going through growing pains.
Perhaps my dreams are a friendly reminder not to get caught up in the illusion. Letting me know that I shouldn't avoid spiritual practise, whispering to me to stay friendly, sociable and charitable, and not alienate my friends because I've got dollar signs in my eyes.
If I look at the people I admire, with careers in the spiritual realm, they too have their practises. They charge for their services, because how else would they be able to provide them? We all have, what Karen Bishop calls "our Storefronts", that allow us the luxury of being able to continue our personal transformations and spiritual journeys. Luxury because if we were required to work excessively just to be able to put food in our kids' mouths, there'd be no energy left for exploration, for neighbourly compassion, for peaceful meditations. And sadly, this is what's going on in many parts of the world. Those of us who are lucky enough to find the time for spiritual practise are truly blessed. And so it's almost our duty to keep ourselves going financially so we can continue our spiritual paths with the humble intention of improving our communities and eventually, human collective.
As for spending money, well, there's no judgement, as far as the universe is concerned. I reject feelings of guilt for spending or attracting money; they're not spiritual feelings, but rather some insecurity my ego's latched onto because it's afraid of what transformation will occur once I am free of this struggle. Whether money is circulating or swelling into a nest egg, it is rightfully in my envrionment because it is simply a reflection of my rich, inner life. I love to spread the positivity that is generated through my feelings of wealth, success and fruition, because we all deserve abundance.
Thank you for reading,
Be well,
Croaker.
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