Zen in the Winter

Winter is coming. I'm especially sensitive to changes in weather, temperature, and fluctuations in sunlight. The foreknowledge of shorter days and cold, blustery walks has got me feeling prematurely introspective. Smells of candy apples from outside the subway station, the crackle of leaves as I take my daily short-cut through the park and the speed of which the sun sets makes me more aware of the present moment, and takes me away from it at the same time. My senses rush to all past winters as if I'm in a jumbled time machine. I can barely see the sidewalk in the dark. Sighing, I jingle my keys in my pocket and focus on my brogues-one foot in front of the other. Soon it will be too cold to contemplate the red front door to my apartment building.

Winter wasn't always a sad time for me. But the last two years in Berlin were unusually bleak. I was bored at work. I felt bored at home. I felt spiritually disconnected from my creativity and soul family. Now, I can't just expect this winter to be better without making any conscious changes. But what would those be? This week I read something that really struck a chord in Lena's October forecast at http://www.thepowerpath.com/. She says to begin each day with a celebratory ritual. The potential of the day inside your prayer, a connection with the sunrise. Today as a gift of time, of space for creation. What will I do with this day?

Can a ritual like this help me to be more mindful of the stillness and peace in each moment? Is this my remedy for the winter blues?

Already I foresee problems implementing the ritual. Namely, the fact that I'm empathetic and sensitive means that I tend to be buffeted around by my feelings. I can hardly begin to do the dishes unless I "feel like it". While I've recently discovered that these impulses, or 'monkey brain', can be directed using the frontal cortex ("executive brain"), I struggle with this as blood sugar levels, hormones, and astrological aspects come into play. Taking for granted that I will force myself to perform the ritual regardless of whether I "feel like it", what happens if I can't muster appropriate feelings of gratitude and expaniveness to celebrate and co-create the intentions for the day?

I wouldn't call it a ritual, but I've got a process I go through that I conveniently forget about from time to time. I think I forget about it because there is a part of my false personality that likes to wallow in sadness. Sadness has a vibration that I'm well familiar with. It's addictive. But I will share this process to move up out of the lower centres with you because, although your mind may reject it by calling it harsh, it works for me. It's not a very elegant process and it requires a bit of mental dialogue, but I like that it's simple, and you are free to modify it.

The idea is to begin deep into the stillness of myself, beyond the trappings of the false personality with its shame, anger and regret, to the very void that any of us can always access. Just shake everything off and focus. In this place, there is nothing before there is any love or gratitude or expansion.

Once I've found the perspective to "re-program" my thoughts, I'll have a little pep talk with myself. Sometimes I imagine they are the words of a spiritual teacher, "what in my life can I be grateful for?" I start tangibly, beginning with my body. Arms, legs, eyes and ears. Next, I move onto shelter, a job, the fact that I've got furniture and clothes in my flat! Then onto my relationships. I realize that we don't all have perfect relationships, and some of us are unemployed, but bringing your awareness down to things that you take for granted every day will soon get you out of a rut. I imagine children living in war-zones. I imagine mothers taking care of handicapped children. I tell myself, "Do not be spoiled or ungrateful, do not wallow in self-pity. You're not hard done by." Then it's usually only a matter of minutes before I can build momentum and find the peace in my heart that remembers how lucky I am indeed. Sometimes I can only find a shallow feeling of appreciation whereas at others I'm able to go much deeper into expansive gratefulness. That's not the point. The point is just to get you away from lack and despair, or in this case, the winter blues. (I told you it was primitive:)

So, to answer my question whether I'll be able to muster up the feelings I need to create a celebratory morning creation ritual, I believe I'll just heed my own advice and get off the pot: Okay, yeah, winter's coming- icy sidewalks, minus fifteen, razor sharp whipping snow. Things could be worse! I will try the morning ritual and let you know how it works out. What kinds of rituals do you engage in? Be free to leave a comment.

Cheers,
Croaker.